If it’s a trap then am I building it alone?

“And at any moment this man could appear once again / This man who disturbed her no end to the point where she could not breathe" 
Patti Smith & David Lynch

Did you feel me fall do you notice

One of the perks would be to have you
knowingly hearing those thoughts each time
I cross my legs or shift my balance
I would thank you for your silence and
your presence and the beat in my heart
that was so strong it fell down
my legs
started slowly running like a thousand
golden snakes on fire licking my thighs
looking up at you with darted eyes
and liquid tongues. And if you don’t
well I might just love you more even though
now I know the high school crush has
more to do with lust. A thousand pins and needles
my skin like burning paper. A summoned self floating
diving endlessly begging for this never to happen
Like a frozen drop of milk
And strong strong pepper

When the moment died and you were still
I wondered. Had I dreamed or died
and if I was still alive with you standing
and doing something then perhaps the
world had ended. You me please make this
last. I realize now seeking is all I

Cayetana Fitz James Stuart
Richard Avedon - 1959.